Reconciliation is not to quickly forgive and forget, as if it never happened or we somehow are gifted with a form of amnesia. Reconciliation requires that we remember and change, but with honesty about our experience and curiosity about the humanness of the other whom we fear.
– John Paul Lederach
Reconciliation:
The word reconciliation comes from the words meaning “flow together again”
When people reconcile with one another, they are able to live in harmony.
The Hardest Word
by Kirsty MacColl
With me in the valley you out on the hill
I can just see you if I close my eyes
Climbing those mountains I picture you still
I see your smile just as I saw the sunrise
This land is ancient it’s built out of bones
At war with each other, the mother, the father
The sisters, the brothers, the daughters and sons
Be kind to each other, your father, your mother
On the horizon the eagles are flying
And I mean no more than a cloud in the sky
I never know if I’m laughing or crying
The hardest word is the word goodbye
Teach me the old ways I’m ready to learn
Be kind to the sister, be kind to the brother
The writer, the singer, the poet, the clown
Be good to the man and be kind to them all
And we are ancient built from bones
Make time for the young and make time for the old
Be kind to each other oh that’s what I know
Be kind to the mothers, daughters and sons
The true and the great and the scared and the small
Be kind to each other, be kind to them all
Forgive our indignity and we forgive yours
As I am the mother, you are the father
Entwined in each other, now and forever
The fathers of daughters, the mothers of sons
Forever and ever and ever as one
As we are the fathers, we are the sons
And we are the daughters, the mothers and brothers
Forever and ever and ever as one
Last night I had the strangest dream
I’d ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They’d never fight again
And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below
Were dancing ’round and ’round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground
Last night I had the strangest dream
I’d never dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.
– Pete Seeger
Yom Kippur
by Beth Kander
I won’t eat, she thought, and that will fix it.
I’ll spend the day fasting and praying as my ancestors did. I’ll wear white clothes and somber expressions. I will murmur ancient prayers and close my eyes and connect with something bigger than myself.
I’ll ask nicely.
I’ll say please.
Over and over, I’ll say I’m sorry.
I’ll apologize to God.
And things will be better.
But first, she thought, I’ll eat.
I’ll make the sort of meal that will see me through twenty-six hours of refraining from repast. I’ll fill my belly and fortify myself for the denial ahead. I’ll be ready.
I’ll have seconds.
I’ll say yes to dessert.
And things will be better.
She ate alone.
Plenty of food.
Her phone buzzed, and she almost didn’t answer it.
Almost sunset, she thought. Who would be calling?
When she saw who was calling, her heart lost the beat, had trouble regaining its rhythm.
If I answer, she thought, I’ll have to apologize.
The thought was uncomfortable.
It would be easier to just apologize to God.
So much easier.
She almost rejected the call. Instead she slid her finger across the screen, and slipped into the conversation she had avoided for so long.
There was a pause.
A breath in, and out.
The longest exhale.
I’m sorry, they both said.
And things were, incrementally, almost imperceptibly, but undeniably, better.
The next Buddha may take the form of a community, a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. And the practice can be carried out as a group, as a city, as a nation.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.
– Jack Kornfield
Fred LaMotte:
You’ll find a new world
in the silence
between thoughts.
Plant seeds of peace
there.
To be able to listen—
really, wholly passively, self-effacingly listen—
without presupposing, classifying, improving, controverting, evaluating,
approving or disapproving,
without dueling with what is being said,
without rehearsing the rebuttal in advance,
without free-associating to portions of what is
being said so that succeeding portions are not heard at all—
such listening is rare.
– Abraham Maslow
Education is an accelerant, an auger, a solvent, a fertilizer, a water-blurred stone in a rising stream—the most necessary, most vital nutrient—the spur and spark of all creativity. Free of all magic—free of capricious “gods”—free of false stars—the truest of untruths—the futile pursuit that fulfills the deepest need. For me, education, is everything.
– Elijah Morton
Finally, you asked what you could do, how to behave. Please, take care of yourself. Seek out beautiful things, inspirations, connections and validating friends. Perhaps you could keep a journal and write stuff down. The written word can put to rest many imagined demons. Identify things that concern you in the world and make incremental efforts to remedy them. At all costs, try to cultivate a sense of humour. See things through that courageous heart of yours. Be merciful to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be kind.
– Nick Cave
It is difficult to learn the names of the vows,
let alone observe them.
So at least you should strive
to be loving to people,
especially those who are close to you
such as friends, relatives,
Dharma brothers and sisters, and neighbours. Try to avoid harming them.
Be respectful to them,
as all are enlightened in their true nature.
Then, in a simple way,
you are moving towards
fulfilling the pratimoksha vow
of not harming others,
the bodhisattvas’ vow
of being loving to others,
and the tantric vow of pure perception.
– H.H. 4th Dodrupchen Rinpoche
The Sound of One Hand
The master of Kennin temple was Mokurai, Silent Thunder. He had a little protege named Toyo who was only twelve years old. Toyo saw the older disciples visit the master’s room each morning and evening to receive instruction in sanzen or personal guidance in which they were given koans to stop mind-wandering.
Toyo wished to do sanzen also.
“Wait a while,” said Mokurai. “You are too young.”
But the child insisted, so the teacher finally consented.
In the evening little Toyo went at the proper time to the threshold of Mokurai’s sanzen room. He struck the gong to announce his presence, bowed respectfully three times outside the door, and went to sit before the master in respectful silence.
“You can hear the sound of two hands when they clap together,” said Mokurai. “Now show me the sound of one hand.”
Toyo bowed and went to his room to consider this problem. From his window he could hear the music of the geishas. “Ah, I have it!” he proclaimed.
The next evening, when his teacher asked him to illustrate the sound of one hand, Toyo began to play the music of the geishas.
“No, no,” said Mokurai. “That will never do. That is not the sound of one hand. You’ve not got it at all.”
Thinking that such music might interrupt, Toyo moved his abode to a quiet place. He meditated again. “What can the sound of one hand be?” He happened to hear some water dripping. “I have it,”imagined Toyo.
When he next appeared before his teacher, Toyo imitated dripping water.
“What is that?” asked Mokurai. “That is the sound of dripping water, but not the sound of one hand. Try again.”
In vain Toyo meditated to hear the sound of one hand. He heard the sighing of the wind. But the sound was rejected.
He heard the cry of an owl. This also was refused.
The sound of one hand was not the locusts.
For more than ten times Toyo visited Mokurai with different sounds. All were wrong. For almost a year he pondered what the sound of one hand might be.
At last little Toyo entered true meditation and transcended all sounds. “I could collect no more,” he explained later, “so I reached the soundless sound.”
Toyo had realized the sound of one hand.
Jac O’Keeffe:
The greatest teaching is in silence.
If you’re silent enough, things come to you.
The wisdom is inside of you.
Even a good thing isn’t as good as nothing.
– Zen proverb
The great Sufi Dhūl-Nūn al-Misrī said, “Whatever you think, God is the opposite of that.”